NPR Morning Edition: Our quest for romance through dating apps is only making us lonelier, studies find

Tired of swiping left and right? And out of patience? You’re not alone. Our quest for romance through dating apps is only making us lonelier.

LEILA FADEL, HOST:

Tired of swiping left and right on the apps? Are you just over it? You’re not alone.

MICHEL MARTIN, HOST:

That endless swiping is not leading to lasting connections. That’s what a survey for a Forbes Health when polled found. They say what the apps really are is exhausting.

SALI HAMA: You’re going through this gamification design that’s not really ideal for you to find people in a meaningful way.

FADEL: So people like Sali Hama are working on alternatives…

HAMA: People feel like there’s an infinite number of options out there, but that’s not really the reality, and what that’s resulted in is what we call a paradox of choice. So having too many choices causes decision paralysis and that makes us less happy, less satisfied. My advice to singles is always don’t limit yourself to a dating app or one form of connection, whether it’s in a platonic way or in a romantic way. And so if there is this opportunity through a friendship app to meet people who are, you know, amazing or potentially people who you could form friendships with, I say go for it.

MARTIN: It could be the answer to dealing with what Surgeon General Vivek Murthy says is a health crisis of loneliness.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)

VIVEK MURTHY: Research shows that loneliness and isolation are associated with a greater risk of heart disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death.

FADEL: Now, meeting complete strangers might sound intimidating, but Adrienne Wood at the University of Virginia’s emotion and behavior lab says it’s worth it.

ADRIENNE WOOD: You’re probably going to enjoy it yourself more than you think, and you are more interesting in general than you think you are.

MARTIN: Wood suggests, put yourself out there.

WOOD: Go talk to strangers, go to networking opportunities, join clubs, find new people who are maybe slightly different from you to become connected with. Having a greater diversity and a greater number of friends that you’re connected to gives you a wealth of resources.

MARTIN: People in cities can be lonely even when there are people all around them, which is why friendship apps like Timeleft are becoming more popular. And then there’s what your mom would say – join a club – a hiking club, a running club, go to church or the mosque or the synagogue and get off your phone.