The Ultimate Guide To Speed Dating!

This article will cover everything you would want to know about speed dating, answering speed dating questions you may have! That includes how to find events, where to find events, what to do before, during and after events. Please go ahead and take your time to learn why speed dating is so popular and so successful in helping modern, professional singles meet other singles. Pre-Dating Speed Dating has successfully matched thousands and thousands of singles since 2001 in thousands of events, and we can help you navigate the world of speed dating, because we have the knowledge and experience running events successfully. So if you are so inclined, please read through this comprehensive article called “The Ultimate Guide To Speed Dating” and by the end you will have most of your questions answered!

What is speed dating?

According to Wikipedia, Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process with the purpose of encouraging eligible singles to meet new potential partners in a very short period of time, so that interested pairs can continue meeting each other after the event. The very first speed dating events, that we know about, were run by Aishatorah in Los Angeles. Speed dating has been around in several formats, including in-person, virtual speed dating, and within online speed dating, a ton of new variations in both desktop and mobile formats. The original and best form of speed dating to this date is in-person with people focused on meeting each other at a local venue.

What are speed dating variations?

Speed dating events have been run continually since around the year 2000, when several startup speed dating companies entered the market. Each one ran speed dating events in slightly different variations. HurryDate was an early speed dating company which allowed you to meet up to 20 singles for 3 minute each. 8MinuteDating offered an 8 minute date where you would meet about 10 attendees. Pre-Dating offered 6 minute dates where you would meet up to 12 attendees. The format by Pre-Dating is the format we still use today, 24 years later and of the first 3 big speed dating companies, only Pre-Dating remains. Pre-Dating also runs Lock And Key Events, which allow daters to meet from 15 to 50 other singles at a larger format event. Lock and Key parties are being run in over 38 US cities in 2025.

How does speed dating work?

While there are several variations, in general, at in-person (IRL) speed dating events there will be 12 men there to meet 12 women. This can vary from a low of 7 to a high of 14 dates, depending on the location, and how many people sign up! The first part of the event is when the people all are arriving. They typically check in with an event host. Once checked in, the attendees typically wait till the event starts. Each person gets a name tag with a number and name on it. Once the event starts, men and women start to talk. We let them talk for up to 6 minutes, and when that time is up, we tell everybody it is time for the men to move on to the next date. Once everybody has met everybody, the attendees at this speed date event select whether or not they like each person. The speed dating company contacts everybody and let’s them know if you had a match. Everybody gets a message, even if they don’t meet anybody.

What ages are offered for speed dating?

Speed dating in-person is happening for many different age groups including speed dating in your 20s, speed dating in your 30s, speed dating in your 40s, speed dating in your 50s, and 50+ speed dating. Often the events combine multiple age groups which overlap, so you will see speed dating listed as speed dating ages 20s/30s, speed dating ages 30s/40s, speed dating ages 40s/50s, or speed dating ages 50s/60s. Occasionally there are speed dating ages 60s/70s events.

Which cities and large states have speed dating events?

This is a list of cities and states where Pre-Dating Speed Dating runs events:

Albuquerque, Atlanta, Baltimore, Boston, Buffalo, California, Charlotte, NC, Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Ohio, Dallas, Denver, Detroit, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, Greensboro, Houston, Indianapolis, Inland Empire, Jacksonville, Florida, Kansas City, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Louisville, Kentucky, Madison, Wisconsin, Miami, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Memphis, Nashville, New York, Orange County, California, Orlando, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, Portland, Sacramento, San Antonio, San Diego, San Francisco, San Jose, California, Seattle & Tacoma, St. Louis, Texas, Tampa, Tucson, Arizona, Tucson, Arizona, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Virginia, Washington DC

How has speed dating evolved?

Originally speed dating was only in-person at local venues. For many years speed dating was very popular, and then during the early 2010s, speed dating started to compete with mobile dating sites like Tinder and OKcupid and others. Younger daters steered away from speed dating and used these apps. During the pandemic, much of these in-person events migrated online for a while. Now after the pandemic, speed dating came back and became very popular again with young and old. Today speed dating events run by Pre-Dating Speed Dating are almost in every major US metro and US city and the events are more popular than ever.

A recent new entry into speed dating are non-hosted speed dating events. Most of the venues Pre-Dating works with do not allow non-hosted speed dating events, which requires a mobile app. Pre-Dating requires a host to be present and does not work like this. Every speed dating event we run has a local host present for convenience and safety so the events have a person in charge who is responsible in case something goes wrong. Before signing up for a speed dating event, find out if that company has a person locally running the event. If not, you may want to rethink if you are ready to attend an event like this. We feel that this takes away from the event and can make the event awkward and often a waste of time.

Where can you find the best speed dating events on the web?

One of the best places to find speed date events is through Google Searches. Typically all the singles events for speed dating show up when you search Google. If you add to the Google search an age range like asking “speed dating for 20s”, or “speed dating for 30s”, or “speed dating over 40” or “speed dating over 50” or “50+ speed dating” it will produce more specific events. This also includes looking for specialty events like searching for “Senior Speed Dating” or “Christian Speed Dating” or “Jewish Speed Dating”. If you use a “near me” in your Google, Bing, Duck Duck Go or other search like “singles near me”, that is another great way to find speed dating events or enter “singles in my area” or “singlesnearme” or “dating near me” or “how to meet people to date” or “local singles near me” or “meet singles near me” or “blind dates near me” search, will often show a speed dating or singles event local to you.

Another great place to look for speed dating is on both directly on Eventbrite and on Meetup. And the newest place to look for speed dating events is through AI (Artificial Intelligence). You will find events that are specifically catered for you if you search ChatGPT at OpenAI.com, Gemini (Google AI), DeepSeek, Perplexity, Lollol.ai and other AI searches. And finally a lot of local newspapers, local TV and radio stations have a web presence that cater to local singles and on those sites there will be singles events listed.

Key benefits of speed dating over going to bars:

Focused Interaction: With speed dating, you know that everyone there is there for the same reason—meeting new people and potentially finding a romantic connection. It’s not a random encounter where you might have to spend time navigating distractions, big crowds, forcing your way to the bar or dealing with loud music, friends, or other distractions that you’d typically find in a bar.

Time Efficiency: In a bar, you might spend a lot of time chatting with someone who turns out not to be your type, or you might struggle to break the ice. With speed dating, you get the chance to meet a number of people in a short time (typically 3-5 minutes each). This is a great way to quickly figure out if there’s chemistry and if you want to have another date.

Less Pressure: The fast-paced format of speed dating can take some of the pressure off. You’re not stuck in a long conversation with someone you’re not feeling is right for you, and there’s less chance of awkwardness since you’re moving on to the next person relatively quickly.

Intentionality: People who sign up for speed dating are generally going to the dating event with the intent of meeting someone, which can be a little different from a bar setting where many people are just out for a casual drink. That intentionality might lead to more meaningful conversations and connections.

Variety: Speed dating often introduces you to a diverse group of people in one sitting. For instance there are many singles who would never hang out at a bar. Because of this diverse group of people you’ll meet, you might meet individuals you wouldn’t typically come across at a bar from different backgrounds and different experiences, broadening your opportunities for connections.

Less Noise and Distractions: Bars can be loud, playing loud music, having loud people, making all kinds of noises, making it difficult to have meaningful conversations. Speed dating events typically take place in quieter, more controlled environment, making it easier to focus on the person you’re talking to.

No Guesswork: When you meet someone at a bar, sometimes it’s hard to gauge if they’re interested in you. Bars are a random way of meeting people and you really don’t know what people are thinking. Speed dating takes the guesswork out of it—if there’s no mutual interest, you move on, and you don’t have to worry about awkwardness or rejection.

Speed dating vs. online apps

The following covers speed dating vs. online apps and the pros and cons of each. Most of these points are obvious, but if you are speed dating for the first time in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s for your first time, these may be things to consider in your decision to seek out speed dating events as a great way to meet people.

Speed Dating

Pros:

1. Immediate Interaction: You get to meet people in real-time and experience instant chemistry (or lack thereof), which can be more fulfilling than trying to gauge interest through messages.
2. Structured Environment: The format of speed dating means everyone gets the same amount of time to talk, which is helpful for people who might struggle with the casual, unstructured nature of online chats.
3. Focused Attention: Because you’re face-to-face, both parties are generally more engaged in the conversation. There’s no distraction of scrolling through profiles or chatting with multiple people at once.
4. Personal Connection: Meeting in person allows you to pick up on body language, tone of voice, and other cues that are often missing in online conversations.
5. Time Efficient: In a short amount of time, you can meet several people and quickly determine if there’s a connection without wasting weeks or months on texting.

Cons:

1. Limited Options: You’re restricted to meeting people who happen to attend the event. Your pool of potential matches is smaller than with online dating.
2. Social Pressure: Some people might feel nervous, awkward, or uncomfortable in speed dating settings, making it harder to form genuine connections.
3. Rushed Conversations: The timed nature of speed dating means conversations can feel rushed, which might not allow for the depth or natural flow some people prefer.
4. No Control Over Who You Meet: While you might be attracted to someone physically, if you don’t click in conversation, there’s no chance to get to know them better before deciding if they’re a match.
5. Event Fees & Location: Attending in-person speed dating events often involves travel and event fees, which can add up.

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Online Dating Apps

Pros:

1. Wide Pool of Potential Matches: Apps give you access to a massive pool of people, sometimes across entire cities or even countries. You’re not limited by your location or the schedule of in-person events.
2. More Time to Think: You can take your time crafting messages, reading profiles, and getting to know someone before deciding to meet in person.
3. Convenience: You can use dating apps from anywhere and at any time, without needing to attend an event. This is perfect for people with busy schedules.
4. Variety of Platforms & Filters: Dating apps often let you filter matches based on specific criteria like interests, age, or relationship goals. This can help narrow down potential partners.
5. Less Immediate Pressure: There’s no face-to-face pressure. You can feel more relaxed and take your time deciding if you want to continue the conversation or meet in person.

Cons:

1. Superficial Interactions: It’s easy to fall into the trap of swiping based on looks alone. You might match with people who aren’t as compatible in the long run.
2. Ghosting & Flakiness: Many online interactions are “easy come, easy go,” leading to situations where people suddenly stop replying or cancel plans without explanation.
3. Time-Consuming: While it’s easy to match with people, it can take a lot of time and effort to weed through messages, get to know someone, and determine if there’s a genuine connection.
4. Misleading Profiles: Some profiles can be exaggerated or misleading, with people presenting an idealized version of themselves. This can lead to disappointment when you meet in person.
5. Overwhelming Choices: With so many options, it’s easy to get overwhelmed or distracted, leading to less meaningful connections. You might even second-guess your matches because you’re constantly comparing people.

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What types of people benefit most from speed dating?

Extroverts

• Why it works: Extroverts love socializing and meeting new people. Speed dating provides them with a structured yet fast-paced way to interact with multiple potential matches in a short time. The excitement of meeting new people and having quick, engaging conversations fits their energetic nature.
• Benefit: Helps them expand their social circle in a fun, low-pressure setting.

Adventurers/Spontaneous Individuals (Spontaneous or “Explorer” Personality)

• Why it works: These types enjoy new experiences and tend to be open to taking risks. Speed dating offers an exciting and unpredictable environment, which can be a thrilling challenge for them.
• Benefit: Allows them to meet a diverse range of people in a fast-paced, fun setting.

People with Limited Time (Busy Professionals, etc.)

• Why it works: Individuals with busy schedules may find speed dating an efficient way to meet potential partners without dedicating weeks or months to dating apps or long dates. The time-limited format allows them to meet several people in one go.
• Benefit: Maximizes the use of time while still allowing them to explore potential connections.

The Curious/Enthusiastic Types

• Why it works: These are people who are genuinely interested in learning about others and enjoy exploring new personalities. Speed dating lets them have a series of mini-conversations and get a feel for different perspectives.
• Benefit: Fulfills their curiosity and helps them get to know a variety of individuals in one session.

Shy or Introverted Types (with the right mindset)

• Why it works: While it might seem like a challenge for introverts or shy individuals, the structured nature of speed dating can actually make it easier for them. They don’t have to worry about the “how do I start a conversation?” dilemma because it’s guided. The short time span helps avoid the pressure of a long, drawn-out conversation.
• Benefit: Offers a low-stakes environment to practice social interactions and gain confidence in connecting with others.

People Who Appreciate Efficiency

• Why it works: Some people just prefer quick and to-the-point interactions. They don’t want to waste time on people they don’t click with. Speed dating lets them get to the core of whether there’s potential quickly, which fits their preference for efficiency.
• Benefit: No prolonged awkwardness; if there’s no connection, they move on quickly.

The “Matchmaker” or Social Connector

• Why it works: These individuals enjoy facilitating connections between others, or they might just enjoy the process of bringing people together. Even if they’re not looking for a partner themselves, they enjoy the social interaction and watching relationships spark.
• Benefit: Great way for them to meet a variety of people and match them up with others they think may be a good fit.

Optimists or Hopeful Romantics

• Why it works: People who have a positive outlook on love or are genuinely excited about the possibility of finding a great match tend to benefit from speed dating. The hopeful energy of the event matches their optimistic belief in the process.
• Benefit: Their enthusiasm can be contagious, helping them make quick and meaningful connections.

People Who Are Open to New Experiences

• Why it works: Individuals who enjoy stepping out of their comfort zone are likely to have a good time at speed dating. It’s a novel experience, and for someone who enjoys variety, it can be both a fun and rewarding challenge.
• Benefit: Puts them in a situation that aligns with their interest in novel and fresh experiences.

The “Go-Getter” Type (Ambitious Individuals)

• Why it works: Someone who is driven, goal-oriented, and doesn’t shy away from challenges may appreciate the structured nature of speed dating. It’s direct and purposeful—a “get to know as many people as possible” kind of vibe.
• Benefit: Makes progress in their dating life with minimal time wasted, which aligns with their goal-oriented mindset.

The Social Butterfly (The Center of Attention)

• Why it works: People who enjoy being the center of attention and thrive in social environments are likely to enjoy the interaction speed dating offers. The short conversations allow them to show off their charisma and interact with many people in a single evening.
• Benefit: The social interaction feels natural, and they can enjoy the quick pace of meeting several people at once.

Choosing the right event for you?

Speed dating events are always assigned to an age range, cities and venues as well as by interest like Christina, Jewish, dog owners, gay, and many other variations and themes. So, if you are in your 20s or 30s, you would want to attend an event in that age range. If you are older you would want to choose a range you fit in. Some people get concerned that they are either at the bottom or top of the age range. Age ranges are typically 15 years or 20 years. We tell people that you can’t get any more specific than these ranges or you would not be able to meet that many people. While some people take these events so seriously they need to meet a specific age, we tell people that partly the event is a place to learn how to interact and chat with people, so meeting the love of your life is important, but first having a good time, good conversations is more important as well as meeting new friends. If you are looking for a singles event, it is often best to find a location that is convenient enough to get to after work or on the weekends.

On-line speed dating vs. in-person speed dating?

For over 20 years we have run speed dating events that are in-person and are offering online speed dating, also called virtual speed dating in many markets. You have to choose what is best for you. As far as in-person speed dating, the challenge is finding an event that is the right age and right location for you. Here are the pros and cons of both in-person speed dating and online speed dating:

In-Person Speed Dating

Pros:

1. Immediate Connection: You can assess chemistry, body language, and tone of voice much more effectively than over a screen.
2. Natural Flow: Face-to-face interactions often feel more organic and engaging, making it easier to connect on a deeper level.
3. Energy of the Event: The excitement, laughter, and social atmosphere of being in a physical space can create a fun and energetic vibe that online events often lack.
4. Focused Attention: There’s no temptation to multi-task (like checking your phone) when you’re sitting face-to-face with someone, so the conversation is usually more focused.
5. No Technical Issues: You won’t have to worry about internet or software issues.

Cons:

1. Time & Effort: You have to go to the event, which takes time and often involves travel. If you’re busy, that’s a major downside.
2. Limited Dating Pool: You’re only meeting people who happen to be at the event, so the number of potential matches is smaller than with online speed dating.
3. Social Anxiety: Some people might find it intimidating or stressful to meet a bunch of strangers in person in a short amount of time.
4. Less Control: You can’t control the environment as much as you can online (for example, if the event is loud or awkward, you’re stuck with it).
5. In-Person Discomfort: If there’s no chemistry, you have to deal with that awkward “next!” moment in real life, which can feel more uncomfortable than clicking away on a screen.

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Online Speed Dating

Pros:

1. Convenience: You can participate from the comfort of your home, without needing to travel. This makes it easier for people with busy schedules or who live far away from event locations.
2. Wider Reach: You’re likely to meet people from different cities or even countries, expanding your dating pool.
3. Less Pressure: There’s less immediate physical pressure. You can focus on getting to know someone’s personality before meeting in person.
4. Time Efficient: If you don’t feel a spark with someone, you can easily move on to the next person, and there’s no awkward “waiting for the conversation to end” moment.
5. Comfortable Environment: Being at home means you can feel more relaxed and at ease, especially if you’re a little nervous about meeting new people.

Cons:

1. Less Chemistry: It’s harder to gauge physical attraction and body language over a screen, which is a big part of real-life chemistry.
2. Technical Issues: Bad internet connections or software glitches can ruin the flow of the event.
3. Superficial: It’s easier to get distracted or disengage when you’re not physically in the same space as someone, so conversations might not feel as meaningful.
4. No In-Person Energy: The energy of an in-person event, with all the excitement and spontaneity, is hard to replicate online.
5. Limited Interaction: Some online platforms may have shorter time frames for each interaction, which could feel rushed or unnatural.

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Setting Expectations

When setting expectations in attending speed dating, it’s important to understand that you are only meeting a person for up to 6 minutes, and therefor you will only have a short time with each person. Because there is going to be a short timeframe for each conversation, the focus should be on initial connection, and understanding that you are likely not finding a perfect match in one night. And it is important to be respectful of everyone’s time by actively participating and following the event timing proper going from date to date, while keeping an open mind and being prepared to exchange contact details only with those you genuinely want to see again. 

How To Prep For A Speed Dating Event?

Often people ask how to prepare for a speed dating event. Obviously being dressed professionally and not being in a ripped t-shirt and old shorts is always better. Making sure you are not disheveled and are looking your best are important factors when people meet you. It is best to not give them something negative to remember you by. On the other hand, coming extremely overdressed, in a very fancy suit, for instance, is not necessary and not required for speed dating. For men, things like shoes, belt, watch and other small details say a lot about you, so take notice of yourself and make sure you are not giving off the wrong vibes. Being yourself in how you look and act, and planning on being professional is the best way to prepare for a speed dating event.

You need to be on time, so on the night or day of the event, make sure you have the time to get to the venue, and you have looked up and know where the venue is located. It may be important to get there somewhat early because you may find traffic on the way or in the case of the location, you may find some issues with finding parking. Setting Google Maps in advance to show you the directions for instance, can take off some pressure to have to look at your phone and search and getting lost on the way to the venue.

You should not arrive at the event starving, because there may not be food available. During the day or time prior to the event, it is best to eat and drink so you are feeling well enough when you arrive at the speed dating event. For instance if you eat a lunch several hours before 6pm, and if that were the event start-time, you will not show up super hungry and can relax. You should not arrive at the event in such a hurry you make mistakes while driving or stress out. There is enough stress meeting new people, so you need to yourself a chance to relax prior to the event and take your time.

How To Spend Your Time During The Event

Most speed dating attendees will order a drink before or during the event. Excessive drinking or openly appearing to have used drugs is pretty much not acceptable at speed dating events. Being obnoxious, excessively loud or argumentitive is important for a successful speed dating event. You typically want to be nice in front of the other participants and not flamboyant or show off or be so obnoxious that most of the dates are already wondering about you before you start.

Always greet people in speed dating with hello. Some people shake the hand of the person they are meeting. Excessive hugging or getting too close without permission are not things you should plan on doing at the event. However, sometimes attendees have a hard time hearing other attendees, so they will ask if they can come closer to hear, especially if the sound is not good in the space, or there is music on or sports programs playing.

Key Topics To Discuss

Our company provides attendees with pre-written questions in case you can not think of anything to say at a speed dating event. The best questions you can ask people are open-ended letting them really have to think and answer for each situation. An example would be “Where would you go if you went on vacation right now?” or “If you could restart your career over again, what field would you go into”.

Speed Dating Etiquette

1. Be On Time

• Arriving late can disrupt the flow of the event and be inconsiderate to other participants. Plan to arrive early so you’re ready when the event starts.

2. Keep a Positive Attitude

• Stay friendly, approachable, and open-minded. A positive attitude makes you more attractive and approachable, and sets the tone for a good conversation.

3. Dress Appropriately

• Dress well, in a way that makes you feel confident but is also appropriate for the event. You want to look your best without being overly flashy or too casual.

4. Smile and Make Eye Contact

• A smile can go a long way in creating a warm, inviting environment. Make sure to engage with eye contact as well, as it helps establish a connection.

5. Keep Conversations Light

• Start with basic questions that give insight into the person’s personality (e.g., hobbies, interests, what they do for fun) instead of diving into deep or controversial topics right away.

6. Avoid Talking About Sensitive Topics

• Stay away from topics like politics, religion, or past relationships. These can be off-putting or make others uncomfortable in a short, casual setting.

7. Be Respectful of Time

• Each date typically lasts only a few minutes, so be mindful of the clock. When the bell rings, wrap up your conversation gracefully.

8. Don’t Overstay Your Time

• If you’re feeling uncomfortable or not interested in the conversation, politely end the chat when time’s up and move on. Similarly, don’t rush through a conversation if you’re enjoying it.

9. Be Honest But Tactful

• It’s important to be yourself and not pretend to be someone you’re not, but also remember to be kind in your approach. If you’re not feeling a connection, there’s no need to be blunt—just keep things polite.

10. Keep Your Phone Away

• Being present in the moment is important. Avoid checking your phone during conversations, as it can be disrespectful to the other person.

11. Take Notes (If Allowed)

• After each round, take a few quick notes about the person (if allowed) to remember them later when deciding who you’d like to connect with after the event.

12. Don’t Be Overly Eager

• While enthusiasm is great, coming on too strong or being overly forward can be off-putting. Keep it balanced and let the conversation unfold naturally.

13. Be Open to Different Types of People

• Don’t dismiss someone right away just because they don’t fit your “type.” You may be surprised by the connections you make if you give people a chance.

14. End with Grace

Whether you’re interested or not, end the conversation politely. Thank the person for their time and move on to the next round without lingering too long.

Non-Verbal Cues

Nonverbal cues play a huge role in speed dating since they often communicate more than words alone. Being aware of these subtle signals can help you understand the other person’s feelings and intentions, as well as give off the right impression. Here are some key nonverbal cues to look out for during a speed dating event:

1. Body Language

• Open posture: Sitting or standing with arms uncrossed, leaning slightly forward, or facing you directly signals openness and interest.
• Crossed arms or legs: This can suggest defensiveness, discomfort, or a lack of interest. It’s a sign that the person may be closed off or not fully engaged in the conversation.
• Mirroring: If the other person mimics your gestures or posture, it’s usually a sign of rapport and connection. It shows they are subconsciously matching your energy.
• Leaning in: If they lean towards you during conversation, it suggests they’re interested and engaged. Leaning away might indicate disinterest or discomfort.

2. Eye Contact

• Consistent eye contact: Holding eye contact signals interest, attentiveness, and confidence. However, staring too intensely may make the other person uncomfortable.
• Frequent looking away: This could indicate discomfort, distraction, or a lack of interest. However, some people may also look away when they are thinking or trying to gather their thoughts.
• Looking at lips: If someone is glancing at your lips while you’re speaking, it can indicate attraction, as it suggests they’re mentally imagining a closer connection.

3. Smiling

• A genuine smile (eyes crinkling, cheeks raised) conveys warmth, friendliness, and interest. It can make the conversation feel more welcoming and comfortable.
• Fake smile (only the mouth smiling, not the eyes) might indicate politeness or disinterest. It’s important to pay attention to whether their smile reaches their eyes for authenticity.

4. Gestures

• Hands visible and relaxed: Open and relaxed hands can indicate comfort and a willingness to engage. Fidgeting or hiding hands (e.g., under the table) might signal nervousness or insecurity.
• Touching face or hair: Lightly touching one’s face or adjusting their hair can indicate nervousness, but it can also suggest self-consciousness or attraction.
• Pointing towards you: If someone subtly points their feet or torso toward you, it’s often a sign of attraction or focus.

5. Posture

• Straight posture: A person sitting or standing up straight is generally signaling confidence and interest. It’s an active way of engaging with the conversation.
• Slouching or turning away: This might indicate boredom, lack of interest, or discomfort. It’s a nonverbal cue that they may not feel engaged in the interaction.

6. Facial Expressions

• Raised eyebrows: A slight raise of the eyebrows can signal interest, surprise, or curiosity. It’s a positive gesture if they’re actively listening or processing what you’re saying.
• Furrowed brows: This could indicate confusion or disagreement, but it could also be a sign of deep concentration.

7. Pacing or Fidgeting

• Fidgeting or shifting: Moving around too much could signal nervousness, disinterest, or impatience. On the other hand, a calm demeanor indicates comfort.
• Tapping fingers or foot: If they seem to be nervously tapping or moving, it might indicate anxiety or impatience. However, some people may do this just because they’re naturally restless.

8. Voice and Tone

• Calm, steady voice: A clear, calm tone often indicates confidence and comfort. Someone who speaks too quickly may be nervous, while a monotone voice could be a sign of disinterest.
• Laughter and enthusiasm: If the person laughs or seems genuinely excited, it’s a good indicator that they are engaged and enjoying the conversation.

9. Distance and Proximity

• Personal space: In speed dating, people typically stay at a comfortable distance. If someone invades your personal space or stands very close to you, it could be a sign of attraction.
• Stepping back: If someone steps back or creates distance, they may be uncomfortable or trying to disengage from the conversation.

10. Subtle Flirting

• Playful teasing or light touches: These can be signs of interest if they’re done gently and in a friendly manner. However, always watch for the other person’s comfort level, as some people may not appreciate physical touch early on.
• Raising eyebrows or winking: These can be flirtatious signals. If done in moderation, they indicate a playful, flirtatious interest.

11. Nodding

• Nodding while you speak: When the person nods while you’re talking, it shows they are listening and processing your words. It’s a good sign that they are engaged in the conversation.

Understanding these cues can help you gauge the other person’s level of interest, making it easier to adapt your approach. It’s also important to pay attention to your own body language, as it can significantly influence how others perceive you.

Do any of these nonverbal cues stand out to you from past experiences? Or are you looking to refine your own signals?

How To Handle Nervousness

It’s totally normal to feel nervous at a speed dating event—after all, you’re meeting a bunch of new people in a short amount of time! The good news is that there are ways to handle those nerves and make the experience more enjoyable. Here are some strategies to help you manage nervousness:

1. Take Deep Breaths

• Deep, slow breaths help calm your nerves and reduce anxiety. Before the event starts (or even during a moment of stillness), take a few slow breaths. It helps lower your heart rate and clears your mind.

2. Remember Everyone is Nervous

• It’s easy to assume that everyone else is calm and collected, but chances are, other participants are feeling just as nervous as you. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and most people understand the nerves that come with speed dating.

3. Focus on the Experience, Not the Outcome

• Instead of stressing about whether you’ll make a lasting connection, try to focus on the experience itself—getting to know new people, having fun, and engaging in interesting conversations. This shifts the pressure away from finding “the one” and onto enjoying the moment.

4. Have a Few Simple Questions Ready

• If you’re worried about running out of things to talk about, prepare a few ice-breaker questions or topics ahead of time. Asking open-ended questions like “What do you enjoy doing in your free time?” or “What kind of music are you into?” can help guide the conversation smoothly.

5. Smile and Use Positive Body Language

• Smiling not only makes you appear friendly and approachable, but it also helps you feel more at ease. Plus, positive body language like making eye contact and sitting up straight can make you feel more confident, even if you’re nervous.

6. Shift Your Focus from Yourself to the Other Person

• Instead of worrying about how you’re being perceived, try focusing on the other person and really listening to them. This takes the pressure off you and helps create a more relaxed atmosphere for both of you.

7. Don’t Put Too Much Pressure on Each Conversation

• Speed dating is meant to be fun and lighthearted. Not every conversation will be a perfect match, and that’s okay! Don’t stress if the conversation doesn’t flow as smoothly as you hoped—it’s all part of the process.

8. Use Humor to Diffuse Nervousness

• A little self-deprecating humor can go a long way to ease the tension. If you’re feeling nervous, you can lightly joke about it, such as saying, “I’m not usually this nervous, but it’s a lot of pressure meeting so many new people in a short amount of time!” It can help break the ice and make the situation feel more relaxed.

9. Take Breaks Between Rounds

• If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a deep breath during the transition between rounds. Use that short break to reset your thoughts, take a sip of water, and prepare yourself for the next conversation.

10. Practice Self-Compassion

• Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel nervous, and that everyone has moments of self-doubt. What matters is showing up and being yourself, and not letting nerves control your experience.

11. Reframe Nervousness as Excitement

• Nervousness and excitement are closely linked, and the physiological symptoms (like a racing heart or butterflies) are similar. Instead of telling yourself you’re nervous, try telling yourself you’re excited. Reframing this feeling can help you view the event in a more positive light.

12. Remember, It’s Just a Conversation

• Keep in mind that speed dating is just a short conversation. The stakes aren’t as high as they might feel in the moment. You don’t need to “perform” or “be perfect”—just be authentic and enjoy connecting with others.

13. Prepare Mentally Before the Event

• Visualize yourself having a good time at the event. Picture yourself feeling confident and relaxed while engaging in fun conversations. This mental preparation can help calm your nerves and set a positive tone for the event.

14. Look for Support

• If you’re really nervous, chat with other participants or organizers before the event begins. Sometimes just talking to others about how you’re feeling can help you feel less alone and more at ease.

The more you participate in these events, the easier they get. Each conversation helps build your confidence, so don’t be discouraged if you’re a little nervous at first. The main goal is to have fun and meet new people, and you’ll find that once the event is in full swing, the nervousness tends to fade away!

After The Speed Dating Event, What To Do?

Each speed dating company has a different way they do matching after and during the event. Pre-dating is old school, where each attendee gets a piece of paper where they mark down whether they are interested or not interested in a person they meet. At the end of the event, Pre-Dating collects all the sheets and processes the information, placing into our system. Customers get their matches through email and texting.

Pre-Dating found that cell phones, smart devices being used during the event is a big distraction, and the company does not promote using cell phones during an event. We actually recommend putting them away during the event. Other event companies make the cell phone the center of the activities and that takes away from the actual event.

How To Follow Up

Respond responsibly. Once you receive your matches, and find out who you matched with, how do you follow up with them?

Well for one thing, even you are not that interested, the one thing you should not do is ghost people after speed dating. Ghosting people means just ignoring them. So you are not sure if you really want to be serious with someone, but you know they like you, you should respond accordingly. Regardless you should respond with some level of honesty instead of ignoring them. That is basic common courtesy. Let’s say you thought they were nice but you don’t want to start any type of relationship with them. You could say “hey sorry I just want to be friends, if that is ok?” I think that if a person can accept that answer they would be civil and adult just like you. Being obnoxious, overly direct or saying unnecessary things is not helpful. Try to be tactful in responding.

Debunking Speed Dating Myths

1. “You Have to Be Really Attractive to Succeed.”
   This is a seriously flawed myth, and often very different for men and women. Our experience is what makes someone attractive at a speed dating event is more chemistry than attractiveness. Men tend to put more of an emphasis on looks, while women often put more of an emphasis on safety, supportiveness and how good a listener the person. And men often choose many more women than women choose men. The truth is, and we have seen this from experience, being really attractive does not improve your chances of meeting someone special at a speed dating event. In fact being too attractive can be a problem.
   
2. “It’s Just Like Job Interviews.”
   Speed daters who treat speed dating like a job interview, interrogating the match with a series of personal questions is not really appropriate. Speed dating is not being on a job interview. There needs to be a rapport and chemistry between daters at a singles event like this.
   
3. “It’s Only for People Who Are Desperate.”
   This is a silly myth that many people use as an excuse to not attend speed dating. Meanwhile some of the most attractive, professional, and in-demand type of daters actually attend and are having the best night of their life, while the people who think it is for the desperate spend the night either at the end of a bar drinking by themselves, watching Netflix alone on Saturday night with their cat or being catfished on Tinder, Match or Facebook Dating. Let’s face it, speed dating is the best place to meet other singles hands down! The reason speed dating is the choice of amazing, good looking and the best singles you can meet, is the efficiency of meeting many people and looking for that special someone requires being in person and actually looking into their eyes like adults. Speed dating is an experience unlike any other way to meet people, and using “only the desperate attend” is what a person with a chip on their shoulder because they are totally insecure would actually say and use to sabotage themselves. Those who think it is for the desperate don’t know what they are missing out on and have it all wrong. Desperation is not a reason to speed date, nor is it a factor.
   
4. “You Have to Have a Perfect Match to Make It Worthwhile.”
   This is a myth that makes no sense. The truth is many speed dating not to meet their perfect match immediately. They speed dating to get to know someone enough to know if they would like to know more about that person. Many speed date just for the entertainment of being around other singles and learning how to flirt. Many speed date because it is lonely living by yourself, and this is a great way to get to meet people when you are new to a city. A ton of speed daters are there just for the experience, to have a great time and great conversation, and who knows, maybe some sparks will fly! It has for many attendees of Pre-Dating Speed Dating!

Well, we hope you found this article somewhat comprehensive and helpful for your first speed dating event, and remember to visit Pre-Dating Speed Dating and sign up for an event!