Maggie Smith says she shared her story on TikTok in the hopes of opening a conversation about how to treat others — even if they aren’t your physical “type”

Check out this article about how a woman got ready for a date, showed up, said hello and the man said he wasn’t feeling it because she was overweight and left. The shortest date ever. Was his behavior terrible or justified? Doesn’t matter – it still made for a painful, humiliating, sad, and a big waste of time of an evening! Please stop messing around with online dating and apps. Pre-Dating events avoid this kind of heartbreak and disappointment by letting you meet people in person. Its the best way. You’ll get an instant read of if there’s chemistry or not. No hurt feelings, or misrepresentations, no awkward “thanks, but no thanks!” Even better, by letting you talk to potential matches in person, you might find yourself open to someone you weren’t expecting to be attracted to – thats why this is NOT Tinder. You’re not doing a half second swipe, you’re actually figuring out if you like this person – the whole package – in a non-shallow way. We think this is the best way to make meaningful connections, and our results prove it works.

Virginia Chamlee Published in People on October 7, 2024 11:20AM EDT

• Maggie Smith has been sharing her dating stories publicly since leaving what she calls a “toxic relationship” earlier this year
• A recent date ended quickly in a way that left Smith “mortified”
• Smith talks to PEOPLE about the lessons she learned from the moment, and how it made her feel

A woman is going viral on TikTok after sharing her experience on “the shortest first date ever” — one she tells PEOPLE all about in an exclusive interview

Maggie Smith explains she’s been dating “on and off for over a decade.”

“The dating scene is tough for everyone, but it feels more superficial than ever in recent years,” adds the Alabama native, 32. “I have met people organically, on the apps, and my most recent ex…well, I met him on Twitter/X.”

Smith says she began sharing her dating stories after she came out of a “toxic relationship” over the summer, at a time when she “felt really alone.”

“My friends shared about their very similar stories and I realized that many of us are in the same boat,” she says. “I didn’t want anyone else to feel as alone as I did, so I made my first [TikTok] post about my cheating ex-boyfriend and the lies he told me.”

Since then, she’s continued posting — both about that relationship and about her experiences on dating apps — including a recent date that she called “the shortest first date ever,” detailed in a now-viral TikTok post.

The beginning of the video shows Smith in her bathroom, with her hair done and makeup on as she tells the camera, “I put makeup on just for this date so it better go well.”

The footage then cuts to a visibly upset Smith in her car, telling the camera, “It did not go well. Truthfully, it lasted less than two minutes. I walked up, he gave me a hug, and said, ‘Are you hungry? Let’s go inside.’ “

“We went inside, he said, ‘Actually, can you step outside for a minute?’ And I stepped back outside, and he said, ‘I’m not trying to offend you, but I’m just not feeling it.’ So I walked to my car, and came back home,” she adds. “Dating when you’re fat sucks.”

Speaking to PEOPLE about the experience, Smith says she was “mortified,” adding that the man cut the date short in front of a group of strangers.

“In the moment, I was mortified. He brought me outside in front of a group of people to say it and my mind went blank,” she says. “I just said ‘okay,’ and started walking to my car in shock.”

She continues: “As I walked away, he felt the need to say, ‘I’m sorry, it’s your weight.’ I didn’t ask, because I didn’t care. I didn’t know him. I wasn’t heartbroken, just embarrassed.”

Smith says she has been “blown away by the vulnerable messages” she’s received since sharing her videos, saying that she’s been contacted by dozens of other women — and some men — “who are broken by the current dating climate, thanking me for being vulnerable and validating some of their experiences.”

The “shortest date ever” experience, she says, will hopefully open up a conversation about how to treat others, even if they aren’t one’s physical “type.”

“Preferences are reasonable, but I think there is a way to treat others with dignity,” she says, adding: “I don’t think he was trying to be unkind, but it certainly felt like a low blow in the moment.”

Had she been able to live the moment over, she says she wouldn’t have walked back to her car but instead, “walked back inside and gotten dinner, because I definitely forgot to eat dinner altogether.”

“But I don’t regret not saying anything. He had wasted enough of my time at that point and I don’t think he deserved the validation of me asking questions or responding,” she says.

Following that experience, Smith says she hasn’t lost her optimism, though she is a bit more hesitant about who she dates. “I will say, outside of violence … my worst case scenario has always been something like this happening,” she says. “And, well, it happened and I’m still here. So that means it’s only up from here, right?”

Saying she’s looking for a partner who is “kind, honest and thoughtful … and, of course, someone who thinks I’m funny,” Smith adds: “Ultimately, I’ve spent this year falling in love with myself again, and if someone isn’t able to love me the way I love myself, it’s a pass.”

Comments

Comment by Inquiring Mind.

I think he was right…. I had that happen to me with a guy who showed a wonderful picture of himself and when he came to the door, he was at least 75 to 100 pounds heavier than the picture he’d displayed and I was shocked. I would never have connected with him had I known… I asked him if I had been 75 to 100 pounds overweight when he came to the door to get me would he have stayed or would he have faked illness. He said he would’ve faked illness.Plus, keeping yourself in good shape shows a respect for yourself, how others see you and how you conduct your life. To be grossly overweight shows a sense of sloppiness about their own health, body, and self respect not to mention respecting others as it conveys the message that food is more important than people and other interests. It’s similar to a person who has a tendency to drink too much having a drink in their hand during a date and at all other times. It would convey the message that liquor is more important than any other person or any other activity. When someone is grossly overweight, it says the same thing about the overweight person’s relationship to food versus others and other interests.Also, the libido goes to hell when you’re overweight (and especially overweight and over a certain age), but you can keep your libido working well, much longer, over a certain age, if you’re in good shape. I think that’s why a lot of marriages go to hell…people let their weight go, then their libido goes, and next physical attraction falls apart. We may not like it, but the truth is that slender people are generally more attractive… If for no other reason, then the message it conveys: that people and other things in life are more interesting than food.

Comment by Cadgal.CaCadgal

very sad that people are validating this guys actions. No one has a clue what information or photos were exchanged beforehand. Making someone else uncomfortable seems to be completely acceptable nowadays. Even if he did not find her physically attractive, he could have been POLITE and bought her a coffee. Some of the best friendships can come from chance encounters. It seems like everyone is only interested in the “cover of the book” and not the content anymore.

Comment by Elle_3.ElElle_3

absolutely feel for this girl. And sure, it’s totally OK everyone to have a preference and at least he cut the date short instead of stringing her along. But she didn’t ask him why so did he have to say that to her?! Like dude.

Comment by Annette.AnAnnette

I think the best thing to do when online dating is to post an accurate full-body picture. No surprises and this will not likely happen.

Comment by PhalGal.PhPhalGal

His behavior was inexcusable. I will mention, though, that it is important for people interested in dating on websites to post accurate and current pictures and information about themselves so others feel you have honesty represented yourself.