The Seattle Times: Dating IRL – Seattle’s creative, in-person dating events are booming in a post-lockdown world filled with dating app fatigue

Aug. 30, 2024
By Sarah-Mae McCullough, Seattle Times features producer

Seattleite Jamie Matthews went on 32 first dates in 2022.

The majority of them 一 80% 一 came from apps like Tinder and Hinge, he said in a TikTok video recapping his dating life, with just 7% resulting from in-person meet-cutes. Though the apps provided quantity, the quality was mixed: Matthew’s end-of-year stats also include three dates who ghosted him after meeting and several “cringe stories” he expects to tell for the rest of his life.

This year, things are looking up after he met someone in person. It seems like there’s a “bit of a resurgence” in in-person dating events now that “we’ve kind of been burned” by the apps, said Matthews, who has friends who’ve gone speed dating lately. He can see why.

Going off a brief profile and a few pics, it’s hard to predict how well you’ll connect with someone in person, which can lead to a lot of dead-end first dates. “It is incredible how much that will burn you out,” Matthews said, whereas the “investment to go out in the real world and meet someone” seems to foster stronger connections.

Seattle has long been home to creative dating-focused events, from spaces for single people to gather for meaningful conversation to entertaining pitch-a-friend PowerPoint nights. But as some singles recover from pandemic-era isolation or settle into remote jobs 一 and frustration with dating apps and websites builds 一 Seattle’s face-to-face dating scene keeps expanding, offering unique antidotes to digital dating.

Attendance at U.S. dating events on ticketing platform Eventbrite grew 42% from 2022 to 2023, the company reports. In Seattle, more than twice as many dating events were hosted in 2023 than the previous year, and the momentum is continuing into 2024. The first half of the year has seen 52% more dating events than in the same period in 2023, according to Eventbrite.

While online dating remains common, so do concerns about how it affects singles’ experiences and well-being, from scams and safety concerns to the paradox of choice.

Earlier this year, a class-action lawsuit accused Match Group, which owns apps like Tinder and Hinge, of deliberately keeping users hooked on their platforms. The lawsuit argues that the apps use “psychologically manipulative features,” such as gamelike designs, to ensure that users “remain on the app perpetually as paying subscribers.” Match Group representatives called the lawsuit “ridiculous,” saying that it strives “to get people on dates every day and off our apps.”

When used conscientiously, dating apps can be a great tool for connecting with people outside your existing networks, said Seattle-based dating and relationship coach Cora Boyd. But they can also get people stuck in a cycle of excessive swiping, followed by an overwhelming number of matches to keep up with, conversations falling flat and, eventually, deleting the app, before starting over again.

Over the past year and a half, she’s been pleased to observe a shift. More of her clients are eager to go to speed dating sessions or mixers, where they can read people’s energy and body language better.

It seems like these in-person dating events are “becoming more commonplace and less stigmatized,” with lots of unique options, she said.