“What Kind of Partner Are You?” Part 4: Are You Evolving?

Are you ready for a real relationship? Though we all want to be in a great relationship, most of us haven’t thought about or devoted ourselves to a set of commitments or behaviors that form the foundation for authentic intimacy.

In my relationship coaching practice, I often work with my single clients on 10 different commitments that make them the kind of partner the opposite sex dreams of being with.

We have been discussing these 10 commitments in recent newsletters.

In recent months, we’ve focused on Transparency, Monogamy and Neediness. Here we talk about Evolving. It’s my hope that you’ll deeply consider each of these commitments and say to yourself, “This is the way I am going to function in my life.”

Commitment #4: Evolution

“I commit to staying in a committed relationship with my partner as long as it’s furthering our individual evolution and opening us both to a deeper realization of God.”

Sometimes relationships turn out to be detrimental to one or both of the people in them. People can be abusive, controlling, irresponsible, addicted, unfaithful, secretive or simply unwilling to participate fully in the relationship or in life itself.

Everyday, the question at the center of your life should be this: Is this relationship (or anything I’m involved in) furthering my individual evolution as a human being? Is it enlivening, enriching and empowering my creativity? Is it opening me to a deeper realization of myself and God? Am I becoming a better person because of the relationship or is it making me worse or holding me back in some way?

If you are not growing and evolving because of your relationship (or anything else in your life), the relationship must and should end. Your priority must be your growth in consciousness, and a healthy relationship will produce that effect. If it isn’t, it’s not the right relationship for either of you.

This commitment is challenging, and it often creates a lot of questions.